I’m a writer. I love to write, i’m always tapping out or scribbling down something. I write poems, short stories, blog posts and bits of anything that comes into my mind. My dream is to write a book and have it published. I dream of walking into my favourite bookstore and seeing it on the shelves with all the other books I love to read. But writing with a Chronic illness is hard work, really hard work and it’s so frustrating it makes me want to scream.
Being a good writer means discipline. It means having the motivation to write every single day but it’s hard to do that when you feel like your brain is on fire. The words get jumbled inside my head and I can’t find the words I want to say. I get frustrated alot and my plans for different projects have to put back to the side so I can rest and come back to it later.
Writing is my passion. It always has been. It saved me from a lot when I was a child. When i was scared or alone or hurt, I’d grab out my pens and pad and start writing a story and I’d disappear into this make believe land that I created myself. I’d write about things that were so far from reality that I’d disappear into this fantasy land and I’d only come back when I was happy again. I dont remember any of those stories anymore, all my old pads were burnt when I left home. I wish I had them now so I could look back on them and realise how far I have actually have come with my writing skills. I do get so down on myself and tell myself that I’m a terrible writer and i’ll never write anything good enough that people will like reading.
Being a good writer takes time and practice and the only way to improve is to write. A lot of my writing today looks like a child has took to the page and attempted to write an adult story. Maybe that’s just how I perceive it and maybe I’d just been too down on myself.
Put together the brain fog from my chronic illness and my terrible procrastination skills and you will find out that not a lot of writing gets done on my end anymore. That frustrates me to no end because writing is my passion, it’s my hobby and it’s my dream to write a book that people will actually enjoy reading. I used to be able to write page after page before I got unwell, whether it was in my journal of writing bits of my book.
Some of my achievements I will mention as not to be so down on myself. But I have kept this blog and my book review blog running for over 6 months and that does make me proud. This blog is focused on chronic illness awareness and my health journey. And my book blog, I talk all things books. Because if you know me, you will know that I love to read. Reading has also been another one of the things that saved me from so much hurt as a child.
Tell me your experiences with writing in the comments, whether you have a chronic illness or not. Any tips will definetly be appreciated because I need to get my book out there. I would love to hear from writers who are published or not published. I would love to connect with some of you out there! Follow me on my social media links and come and chat to me about writing or books or just general life.